A goats tail

The Case of the Missing Turnips - Part 9

23rd June

Having had the brainwave of the letter to get the kidnapper to help me steal the prize bull from the Johnsons field. I set about writing it, which was quite difficult considering I wasn't well versed. It went something like this;

Dear Mr or Mrs kidnapper and accomplices 

I am a trainee kidnapper in need of some help. I have a kidnapping to perform and you seem like the best one to help me. You seem to be quite good at it, so please could I meet you for a chat.

I'll be up in the little hamlet of Tyler's Hill, by the pub at 4pm for a ginger beer and a packet of pork scratchings. 

Yours in hope,

Another kidnapper

P.S I think my plan is much bigger than yours, it involves cows! 

I was rather pleased with the letter, so I rode to the Leyhill Echo's office (a shed) and waited, thinking it would be published there and then. In fact I waited quite a long time until I realised that the paper wouldn't come out until tomorrow, and that the office was closed, so I went home. 

I awoke early the next morning, perhaps it was the adrenaline that I was going to meet a dangerous criminal? Or it could have been mums snoring! I waited at the front door for the delivery of the newspaper. That little squirt Claire Flynn was our newspaper girl so I knew it wouldn't be delivered on time. It wasn't, infact it was so late I had already had breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack of scones with some homemade jam. Eventually the paper came through the door. I was going to apprehend Flynn but thought against it as she was with her Dad. I quickly opened the paper, to see if my letter had been printed..it had. My plan was set, however my eye caught a larger headline on the opposite page, that was to throw open the case even more.

Johnson's' Goats Go Missing

The missing animals mystery has had another twist to its tail. In a similar vain to the pigs and chickens, now Mr Johnsons' goats have gone missing. These kidnappings are said to be driving Mr Johnson mad. 

In other Johnson related news, Mrs Johnson is still missing presumed kidnapped as well. It hasnt been a particularly good month for Mr Johnson sources suggest.

This was all getting beyond a joke. How was I suppose to try and solve these cases if whoever was doing this was taking all of the Johnsons farm animals. What next cattle I thought? I turned the page...

Late news

Reports suggest that a prize bull has also been stolen and a herd of cattle have been seen making their way towards the nearby village of Bovingdon. An old lady wearing a balacalva was supposedly seen sheparding the cows on their way and walking off with the bull towards the small hamlet of Tylers Hill. Mr Johnson is unable to comment as he was last seen face down in cow dung, clearly a broken man.  

Well that had blown it, hadn't it? My plan was in pieces, much like Mr Johnson it seemed. Well that was it. I had to act and it was now or never. I was headed for Tylers Hill and I would find the bull and the kidnapper of the goats, chickens, pigs and Mrs Wilcox.

To be continued......

The flying lady

Case 1: The Case of the Missing Turnips (Part 7 - the second bit)

June 22nd - Continued..

The press conference was to be held at St George's Hall (normally used by the local play group and the pensioners kendo club) at the top of a road called Jasons Hill. On arrival (minus the flask) I noticed that all the local press were there (i.e. The Leyhill Echo), represented by their young hack William (aged 12). PC Bob Pig was sitting at the centre of a large table with the deaf Mr Perth to his right, the accused Messrs Kiln and Pickles (who looked rather peeved by it all) and old Mrs Flueberry-Jones (who was asleep).  I assumed she was there for the kendo club? I took my seat at the back and listened intently to PC Bob Pigs statement.

Mr Pig spoke slowly and in such a monotone voice that I wasn't surprised that William the local hack was having far more fun flicking bogeys at the sleeping Mrs Flueberry-Jones. It all sounded rather boring to be honest, and didn't make much sense as the evidence he was presenting didn't add up. They had kidnapped her because she had argued at the last village committee meeting about the lack of funds for a new slaughter house she wanted to set up and they had stated that with one already owned by a local farmer called Mr Johnson. The need for another wasn't required. After what seemed an eternity of waffling from PC Bob Pig, in which he was going through those irrelevant facts of the councillors arrest I fell asleep myself. I was awoken by Mrs Flueberry-Jones, who was shaking me violently for some reason. Being a little sleepy and really unaware that it was Mrs Flueberry-Jones I pushed her back, angry at being woken. She fell, falling onto the playgroups see-saw, I stumbled when getting up and fell onto the other end of said see-saw, which in turn threw her into the air. Upon hitting the roof she descended towards the children's play pool, which hadn't been cleaned out and was full of dirty water. She landed with an almighty splash and a scream; a cry for help no-less. I stood around and waited to see if anyone would come and help, no-one did! Considering the hall was empty it wasn't really a surprise. The lack of care for the elderly was outrageous these days , I thought. So reluctantly I had to pull her up and left her to sort herself out. Well I thought, she did wake me up and I was having a rather nice snooze.

Having fallen asleep I had clearly no idea whether PC Bob Pig had in fact caught the kidnappers and also if that was the case, why hadn't Mrs Wilcox been found and paraded to the villagers? I had a hunch that Mrs Wilcox was still kidnapped and that the kidnapper was still at large in the village. Whilst walking home I came up with an idea that would hopefully draw out the kidnapper and I could then prove that PC Bob Pig had got it wrong and I could take all the credit. I would write a letter to the Leyhill Echo asking the kidnapper for his or her help and wait for a response. I would use the fact that the pigs, sheep and turnips had been stolen and I was thinking of stealing Mr Johnson's prize bull! Would it work? I was about to find out...

To be continued....